Life to Live By

Current mood: amused


Everyone has their beliefs; the internet is full of them. We are overrun with opinion, whether ours or alleged experts. Indeed we are assaulted by them, the disquiet of a million voices clamoring for your attention, all diametrically opposed to one another until your own voice is lost in the din. So in the interest of pulling my own mantra from the pile, I thought I'd share a few of mine.



1. Cute Shoes Hurt. There are simply no two ways about it. We weren't meant to totter around in stilettos, weren't meant to crush toes into witch-points, weren't meant to hobble on platform beds. But so what? Humans weren't meant to do a lot of things they do on a daily basis, and many of those things won't ever look as good as a black leather retro peeptoe pump on a stacked heel. Let's face it; there's no such thing as fuck-me Crocs.



2. Art isn't meant to match the couch. True art, whether it be visual, writing, music, performance, dance, or some sum of these parts, is meant to change our perceptions of the world and our place in it. Otherwise it's not art, it's kitsch. Not that you can't love kitsch, but know the difference between the two.



3. No one, and I mean NO ONE, knows if there is a God. Believes? Hopes? Thinks? Imagines? Sure. But no one knows. No empirical evidence exists to prove the existence of any given deity, be he Jehovah or the tooth fairy or Zombie Elvis. Likewise, atheists, no evidence exists to wholly discount him. It works both ways, which is why I'm agnostic. I don't know, and I'm comfortable with that. It feels more honest to me, somehow.



4. Real friends are few and far between. I know a lot of people, but I consider very, very few people to be my friends. Those that truly are, know it.



5. People who equate commitment with boredom are boring people. It's all well and good to cat around in your teens and twenties, but by the time you hit your thirties, it starts getting a little pathetic. You don't have to have a ring, but you should have something or someone in your life that's worth your time. Be it a career path, or a calling, or another human being you can have a complex, healthy, egalitarian, adult relationship with, you have to have something grounding you. Don't have it? Trust me, it's at least partially your doing. If you keep meeting all the wrong people, the only common denominator is you.



6. Once you have kids, your needs take a back burner. Those kids didn't ask to be here. Every child deserves a decent shot at life,and that includes a stable household where the basic needs are provided for. Of course you can't plan for every disaster, but if you don't have a job, health care, decent housing, and a loving, safe environment in which to raise them, then you're doing them a disservice being their parent. And if you're still making excuses about why you don't have these things, you don't have any fucking business having kids.



7. Real style doesn't change all that much. Well made items that fit the body you have now are the best place to start. Truly stylish people dress for themselves; they rarely incorporate outlandish trends, but they're aware of them enough to add an update now and then. Style also doesn't demand a huge price tag: Paris Hilton's outfits cost more than my house payment, but she still looks like a cross between a hooker and a bag lady most of the time.



8. No one who's ridiculously wealthy is a good person. I'm not talking about upper middle class, or even lower upper class. Owning a Hummer, while ecologically unsound and a little ridiculous, doesn't apply. Owning Hummer, the company, does. No one in the world who gets to that level does it by being a decent human being. NO ONE. Wealth accumulation is like power: those who would use it the most altruistically never seek it out.



9. Vices in moderation are lovely, indeed. A stiff top-shelf drink in a pretty glass, a cigar, cursing like a sailor, or a new pair of come-and-get-me pumps are all well and good, just don't overdo it.



10. Actual enjoyment beats indie cred every time. I'd rather listen to "Rock you like a hurricane" 350 times in a row than ever have to sit through a Fugazi song. After a while, all that precious hipster posturing just gets overbearingly lame.



11. A little overweight looks better than a little underweight. Don't get mad, skinny friends, I still love ya. This is just a judgement call on my part, and it applies to guys as well as chicks. There's something about cushion that just says sexy to me in a way that visible collarbones don't.



12. You should love, but not need, love. Being genuinely interested and attracted to your partner is wonderful. Being clingy and codependent isn't. If you spend all your single time desperately searching for another person to fulfill your self-esteem, you're going to have a pretty shitty life.



13. Women that want to do something for themselves get vibrators, not breast implants. Do I even need to explain that one? A truly sexy chick is one who likes herself and knows how her junk works. Not an empty headed princess with pneumatic baseball halves inserted into her torso.



14. Any man who raises his hand to me or my child will never surface again.



15. Family is only as good as the people in it. Just because your name sits on the same family tree as mine doesn't mean you deserve my respect no matter now you act toward me. You are under the same rules as everyone else in the world; you get my respect by earning it, because I don't owe you a damn thing just for livin'.



16. None of us is getting out of here alive. So make the most of your life while you're here. Strive to leave the world better than it was when you found it, because you can't take shit with you when you go.



So there you go. A partial list of stuff I think is right. Added to the ether, for whoever happens across it. Enjoy, mi hijos.