1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: Nope
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? When we watched the PBS show on Oppenheimer, who built the bombs they dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I prefer typing.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Corned beef
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? One beautiful son.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Absolutely!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? With every waking breath.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? I think so.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Nope. I'm not 24 anymore.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST? Pancakes with real maple syrup, dry scrambled eggs with an extra egg white, fresh mango and blueberries, strawberry orange juice, coffee with milk and sugar, and a glass of skim milk. Great, now I'm hungry.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? None of my shoes have ties.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Peppermint
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? If they look interesting.
15. RED OR PINK? Red, always.
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I am absolutely blind without my glasses.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My gramma, who passed in '07.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Yes, if they want to.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans, no shoes right now.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Mykonos by Fleet Foxes, PBS kids, and my son's electric keyboard demo.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Spring green
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Mint, lilac, ylang ylang, fabric softener, my husband after a shower, my Aveda hair pomade
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mia, last night.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I like Cat fine, even though I end up wasting a lot of time because of her. ;)
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Roller Derby and my husband's soccer games.
27. HAIR COLOR? Jet black with one blonde streak.
28. EYE COLOR? Green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Can't. They give me migraines.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Indian food, buttercream frosting on red velvet cake, homemade candy, real maple syrup, hot and sour soup, mangoes, grapefruit juice, feta cheese, sushi of any kind, pineapple pizza, toasted marshmallow latte.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Can't watch horror movies, but I don't need a happy ending. I prefer suspenseful movies, or good character studies.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? All the way through? The Dark Knight. Which was even better than I remembered.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black and grey off-shoulder 3/4 sleeve top.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? I prefer winter over summer, but I love spring and fall.
35. HUGS OR KISSES? If it's from a friend, both. If it's someone I don't know real well, a handshake will do.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Handmade buttermints.
37. IF YOU COULD MAKE A WISH. For my son to grow up happy and healthy, and for my husband to finish his book and get it published so he doesn't have to work anymore.
38. WHAT (in general) IRRITATES YOU? People who don't have their shit together, people who are shiftless, people who make others suffer because of their own greed, fundamentalists, people having kids who can't properly care for them, and politicians who don't blink at bailing out their rich friends in the banking industry while expecting union workers to jump through hoops to get less than a 10th of the same money.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I've read everything in my house.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? No mouse pad.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I sort of watched Scrubs reruns while my husband and I fell asleep on the couch.
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? Good music, my son's voice, snow falling, my husband's laugh, cats purring.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Neither. I prefer the musicians they ripped off.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Portugal.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Singing, drawing, painting, dancing, sewing, acting, dirty jokes, fashion design, web design, talking shit, creative writing, making candy, baking, and throwing a right hook.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? St. Louis.
47. WHAT WAS THE LAST NICE THING YOU DID FOR SOMEONE?
I hugged my son and told him I loved him.
48. WHERE DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? I met him in a horrible art class at Meramec. I thought he was cute, so I decided he would be my friend.
1/30/09
1/26/09
Dealbreakers
I'm not single anymore, but I vaguely remember being so. When I was single, I had a mental list of traits I found attractive and some I found unattractive. Beyond that, there were the traits so horrible, wierd, or foul-smelling that I simply couldn't look past them. These were called "Dealbreakers". This is the top 15 of them.
DEALBREAKERS
1. Cheesy pick-up lines. It can be as innocuous as an awkwardly delivered compliment on my physical appearance, but it immediately turns me off. I don't know you, so wait until I do to start all that shit.
2. Being a member of an organized religion. I'm agnostic. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that some gaps can't be bridged. Some people can look past the fact that they don't share the same views on the building blocks of the universe, but I'm not one of them. We have to start out on a pretty level playing field, because at no time in the future am I going to morph into a Christian, Wiccan, Zen Buddhist, Scientologist, or Norse Pagan. Sunday mornings are for pancakes.
3. Having any of the following: bad breath, body odor, unkempt facial hair or dirty head hair. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you should look like a bum. Or, if you do, then date girls similar to you. If I wash my ass, so do you.
4. Bad shoes. You can tell a lot about a person by what they wear on their feet. Crocs, mandals, Nikes, unironic cowboy boots, docksiders, gators, brown leather anything, adidas slides, or birkenstocks are a serious no-no. Men's shoe fashion is a study in subtlety: Plain Chuck Taylors, doc marten shoes or boots, motorcycle boots, et al. Good shoes don't call too much attention to themselves, and they ALWAYS cover men's toes.
5. No ass. I'm a girl who likes an ass. If you ain't got one, I won't give you a second look.
6. Skinny boys. I won't say I've never dated them, but they've been the exception. I'm more likely to date a fat guy than a skinny one. Skinny guys just look like you have to mend them.
7. Men who are a lot younger or a lot older than me. I don't like to date younger men as a rule, which is why it's still weird to me that my husband is 6 years my junior. But since he's 80 on the inside, I guess it works out. I don't want to be someone's mommy, and neither do I want a daddy. I want an equal, and it's just easier to find that if you're both from the same generation.
8. Metrosexuality. I'm all for cleaning your bits, but once it branches into "being in touch with your feminine side", you've totally lost me. I'm bi; if I want to date a girl, I'll date a girl.
9. Being shiftless. I don't expect you to take care of me, but I'm for damn sure not going to take care of you. If you're over 30 and can't keep a job over a year, you can find someone else's time to waste.
10. Living with mom and dad. I don't even need to explain this, right? Paying rent all by yourself is very sexy. It means you're that much closer to being a grown-up.
11. Blond hair. It's not that blond men can't be attractive, it's just not really my thing. I prefer dark hair, dark eyes, and dark skin. Blond men just don't seem to smolder as well.
12. Physical weakness. I have a fondness for a strong back and arms, because I want to know I'm not going to have to lift things all by myself.
13. Alcohol or drug addiction. I have exactly NO sympathy for practicing addicts. Your mommy can take care of your sorry ass, I have other things to do.
14. Mental lightweights. I actually prefer a guy to be smarter than me, because it pushes me to apply myself.
15. Smokers. I can deal with smoke every once in a while, but I don't like it as a rule. The smell gets everywhere, and if you don't partake yourself, it's fairly foul.
DEALBREAKERS
1. Cheesy pick-up lines. It can be as innocuous as an awkwardly delivered compliment on my physical appearance, but it immediately turns me off. I don't know you, so wait until I do to start all that shit.
2. Being a member of an organized religion. I'm agnostic. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that some gaps can't be bridged. Some people can look past the fact that they don't share the same views on the building blocks of the universe, but I'm not one of them. We have to start out on a pretty level playing field, because at no time in the future am I going to morph into a Christian, Wiccan, Zen Buddhist, Scientologist, or Norse Pagan. Sunday mornings are for pancakes.
3. Having any of the following: bad breath, body odor, unkempt facial hair or dirty head hair. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you should look like a bum. Or, if you do, then date girls similar to you. If I wash my ass, so do you.
4. Bad shoes. You can tell a lot about a person by what they wear on their feet. Crocs, mandals, Nikes, unironic cowboy boots, docksiders, gators, brown leather anything, adidas slides, or birkenstocks are a serious no-no. Men's shoe fashion is a study in subtlety: Plain Chuck Taylors, doc marten shoes or boots, motorcycle boots, et al. Good shoes don't call too much attention to themselves, and they ALWAYS cover men's toes.
5. No ass. I'm a girl who likes an ass. If you ain't got one, I won't give you a second look.
6. Skinny boys. I won't say I've never dated them, but they've been the exception. I'm more likely to date a fat guy than a skinny one. Skinny guys just look like you have to mend them.
7. Men who are a lot younger or a lot older than me. I don't like to date younger men as a rule, which is why it's still weird to me that my husband is 6 years my junior. But since he's 80 on the inside, I guess it works out. I don't want to be someone's mommy, and neither do I want a daddy. I want an equal, and it's just easier to find that if you're both from the same generation.
8. Metrosexuality. I'm all for cleaning your bits, but once it branches into "being in touch with your feminine side", you've totally lost me. I'm bi; if I want to date a girl, I'll date a girl.
9. Being shiftless. I don't expect you to take care of me, but I'm for damn sure not going to take care of you. If you're over 30 and can't keep a job over a year, you can find someone else's time to waste.
10. Living with mom and dad. I don't even need to explain this, right? Paying rent all by yourself is very sexy. It means you're that much closer to being a grown-up.
11. Blond hair. It's not that blond men can't be attractive, it's just not really my thing. I prefer dark hair, dark eyes, and dark skin. Blond men just don't seem to smolder as well.
12. Physical weakness. I have a fondness for a strong back and arms, because I want to know I'm not going to have to lift things all by myself.
13. Alcohol or drug addiction. I have exactly NO sympathy for practicing addicts. Your mommy can take care of your sorry ass, I have other things to do.
14. Mental lightweights. I actually prefer a guy to be smarter than me, because it pushes me to apply myself.
15. Smokers. I can deal with smoke every once in a while, but I don't like it as a rule. The smell gets everywhere, and if you don't partake yourself, it's fairly foul.
1/23/09
Wasting Time
Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the 1st 25 songs no matter how embarrassing
Step 3: Strike through once someone guesses both the artist and the track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing, looking up the lyrics is CHEATING.
Step 5: If you like the game post your own.
1. All I can ever be to you is a darkness that we knew
2. The door slammed loud and rose up a cloud of dust
3. The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
4. Climb the highest mountain, sail across the sea
5. When the rain is blowing in your face
6. Let me lay it on the line, I got a little freakiness inside
7. I don't want you to be no slave
8. I remember way back, way back when
9. When you walk in the bar, and you dressed like a star
10. See them on their big bright screen
11. I once met a man with a sense of adventure
12. I've been walking in the same way as I did
13. He looked down into her blue eyes and said "say a prayer for me"
14. Well you've been making your brags around town that you been lovin' my man
15. Shattered dreams, worthless years
16. In a police car I feel so very small
17. They can make things worse for me
18. Well it's been ten years and a thousand tears
19. It's been three weeks since you been lookin' for your friend
20. Down in Mexicali there's a crazy little place that I love
21. I was following the I was following
22. If you're looking for trouble, you came to the right place
23. Que bonitos ojos tienes
24. Well, when I was young I was so full of fear
25. Birds flying high you know how I feel
Good luck!
Step 2: Post the first line from the 1st 25 songs no matter how embarrassing
Step 3: Strike through once someone guesses both the artist and the track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing, looking up the lyrics is CHEATING.
Step 5: If you like the game post your own.
1. All I can ever be to you is a darkness that we knew
2. The door slammed loud and rose up a cloud of dust
3. The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
4. Climb the highest mountain, sail across the sea
5. When the rain is blowing in your face
6. Let me lay it on the line, I got a little freakiness inside
7. I don't want you to be no slave
8. I remember way back, way back when
9. When you walk in the bar, and you dressed like a star
10. See them on their big bright screen
11. I once met a man with a sense of adventure
12. I've been walking in the same way as I did
13. He looked down into her blue eyes and said "say a prayer for me"
14. Well you've been making your brags around town that you been lovin' my man
15. Shattered dreams, worthless years
16. In a police car I feel so very small
17. They can make things worse for me
18. Well it's been ten years and a thousand tears
19. It's been three weeks since you been lookin' for your friend
20. Down in Mexicali there's a crazy little place that I love
21. I was following the I was following
22. If you're looking for trouble, you came to the right place
23. Que bonitos ojos tienes
24. Well, when I was young I was so full of fear
25. Birds flying high you know how I feel
Good luck!
1/15/09
25 Movies I can't live Without.
I borrowed this concept from Amanda Michel, whose movie choices are much cooler and less well known than mine, I think.
These aren't necessarily the movies I've seen the most (I've watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy an embarrassing amount of times), but they are the ones that have struck that chord deep inside me that says "This! This is home!" I wonder what that says about me.
1. Death Proof. Not Quentin Tarantino's best known work, but my favourite by far of his oeuvre. Sexy girls, sailor talk, fantastic soundtrack, muscle cars, and bloody revenge. Hot damn!
2. LA Confidential. Proof that not all movies set in the 50's have to be Grease. Not that there's anything wrong with Grease (also on this list), but the 50's were like any other time in history; some bad shit went down. Fills the noir theme without being derivative. Hell, it even got me to like Kim Basinger.
3. Velvet Goldmine. Set in one of the most fun (and oft forgotten) periods of music history: the Glam years. Purported to be loosely based on the supposed affair between Ziggy-era Bowie and Iggy Pop, this movie is a glitter-crusted heroin spike: sweet as candy on the outside and rotten to the core. Plus, any movie where Ewan MacGregor takes his pants off can't be all bad.
4. Hedwig. I don't even need to explain why this is on here, do I? It's a car wash, ladies and gentleman!
5. Mulholland Drive. I love just about everything David Lynch touches, even the things that I don't understand at all, but since I'm a little in love with Laura Elena Harring and a LOT in love with Justin Theroux, this movie spends a lot of time in my VCR. That's right, I love it so much I actually brave the technology of the 80's to watch it.
6. Desperately Seeking Susan. Sure, Madonna can't act (or sing for that matter). But nothing takes me back to the girl I was in high school like this movie. Not because the fab New Yawk locales look anything even close to my horrid suburban hometown, but because at that time of my life I wanted to be Madge's character--running from hoods, living out of people's houses, being quick witted and light on my feet and beholden to no one. Like everything we like when we're young, this just takes me back.
7. Mystery Train. Love Jim Jarmusch, and this is one of his best films. Any movie that casts Screamin' Jay Hawkins, the ghost of Elvis, and the late Joe Strummer is virtually guaranteed greatness.
8. City of Lost Children. Actually, everything this director does is fabulous, but this magical french tale of an elderly despot who kidnaps children to steal their dreams is filled with so much dark wonder that you can't take your eyes off it. What other movie boasts crazy narcoleptic scientist clones, a midget nurse with a towering hairdo, a talking brain in a jar and murderous conjoined hag twins? No one, that's who.
9. Ghost World. The first time I watched this movie I felt like someone had filmed my brain in high school. Except made it funnier and cooler than it ever was in real life.
10. Mystery Men. Misfit Superheroes save the world. With forks and flatulence. Seriously, everything about this movie rocks. If you haven't seen it, you should.
11. Iron Giant. I saw this in the theater 4 times. I cried like a cholicky baby 3.5 times. Pure brilliance.
12. Another State of Mind. Of course this movie is going to be on my list. Besides being a chunk of late 80's punk rock history, it's also filled with unintentionally hilarious footage of early Social Distortion. Being several huge fans of Social Distortion myself, I have to include this on any list of films I make.
13. Grease. The ironic thing is that I wasn't allowed to see this in the theatre when I was little. My mom thought it was too risque, and so I was well into my 20's before I saw it. So of course I watched it, like 5 times in one sitting. My favourite character is Rizzo, because Sandy is an annoying twat until the very end.
14. Silence of the Lambs. My fascination with abnormal psychology aside, this movie is extremely well made, and the performances are perfect to a man. What other movie about serial murderers warranted an Oscar? None that I can think of. Maybe Zodiac, but not many others.
15. Crybaby. Yeah, it's not his best work, but Johnny Depp in a leather jacket and pompadour can make you forgive a lot of things. Plus, this list is what I like, and I admittedly like some corny things.
16. Pretty in Pink. Oh c'mon. I'm a girl who was a teenager in the 80's. It's practically stamped on my DNA to like this movie.
17. Usual Suspects. I've watched this movie 100+ times and the ending still gets me.
18. Kill Bill. I'm going to count both parts as one movie because I usually watch them back to back. You either love Tarantino or hate him. I love him, and I love this movie.
19. High Fidelity. The cast is excellent, the writing is top-notch, and Jack Black gets to be his Jack Blackiest. Every character in this film reminds me of everyone I've ever met.
20. Heathers. This is the last time Christian slater was cool. But boy, was he cool.
21. Spirited Away. Such a beautiful film! I love Miyazaki's style, but this film is his most accessible for me. I wish our kid hadn't gotten the DVD out of the case and broken it. :(
22. Wall-E. Speaking of our little one, he watches this movie 3 times a day, every day. And you know what? I still like it.
23. Tropic Thunder. This movie is just fucking funny, with an unbelievable performance by Robert Downey Jr. "I'm a lead farmer, mothafucker!" Priceless.
24. Breakfast at Tiffany's. Even with Mickey Rooney's undeniably racist performance and the movie's departure from Capote's original story, it's still one of my favourite movies. Audrey Hepburn is transcendent, as always.
25. Dazed & Confused. Richard Linklater is the master at capturing the feel of a moment. Every minute of this movie feels less like film and more like time-travelling voyeurism. We've all known these people, even if some of us were too young to have passed through the 70's firsthand. this movie gets promoted as a moronic pothead comedy, but it's much, much deeper than that.
There, I'm finished. I'm sure I've forgotten some of my very favourites, and I'll question my tastes in ten years, but it's done, and it's perfect in this instant so I'll leave it be.
These aren't necessarily the movies I've seen the most (I've watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy an embarrassing amount of times), but they are the ones that have struck that chord deep inside me that says "This! This is home!" I wonder what that says about me.
1. Death Proof. Not Quentin Tarantino's best known work, but my favourite by far of his oeuvre. Sexy girls, sailor talk, fantastic soundtrack, muscle cars, and bloody revenge. Hot damn!
2. LA Confidential. Proof that not all movies set in the 50's have to be Grease. Not that there's anything wrong with Grease (also on this list), but the 50's were like any other time in history; some bad shit went down. Fills the noir theme without being derivative. Hell, it even got me to like Kim Basinger.
3. Velvet Goldmine. Set in one of the most fun (and oft forgotten) periods of music history: the Glam years. Purported to be loosely based on the supposed affair between Ziggy-era Bowie and Iggy Pop, this movie is a glitter-crusted heroin spike: sweet as candy on the outside and rotten to the core. Plus, any movie where Ewan MacGregor takes his pants off can't be all bad.
4. Hedwig. I don't even need to explain why this is on here, do I? It's a car wash, ladies and gentleman!
5. Mulholland Drive. I love just about everything David Lynch touches, even the things that I don't understand at all, but since I'm a little in love with Laura Elena Harring and a LOT in love with Justin Theroux, this movie spends a lot of time in my VCR. That's right, I love it so much I actually brave the technology of the 80's to watch it.
6. Desperately Seeking Susan. Sure, Madonna can't act (or sing for that matter). But nothing takes me back to the girl I was in high school like this movie. Not because the fab New Yawk locales look anything even close to my horrid suburban hometown, but because at that time of my life I wanted to be Madge's character--running from hoods, living out of people's houses, being quick witted and light on my feet and beholden to no one. Like everything we like when we're young, this just takes me back.
7. Mystery Train. Love Jim Jarmusch, and this is one of his best films. Any movie that casts Screamin' Jay Hawkins, the ghost of Elvis, and the late Joe Strummer is virtually guaranteed greatness.
8. City of Lost Children. Actually, everything this director does is fabulous, but this magical french tale of an elderly despot who kidnaps children to steal their dreams is filled with so much dark wonder that you can't take your eyes off it. What other movie boasts crazy narcoleptic scientist clones, a midget nurse with a towering hairdo, a talking brain in a jar and murderous conjoined hag twins? No one, that's who.
9. Ghost World. The first time I watched this movie I felt like someone had filmed my brain in high school. Except made it funnier and cooler than it ever was in real life.
10. Mystery Men. Misfit Superheroes save the world. With forks and flatulence. Seriously, everything about this movie rocks. If you haven't seen it, you should.
11. Iron Giant. I saw this in the theater 4 times. I cried like a cholicky baby 3.5 times. Pure brilliance.
12. Another State of Mind. Of course this movie is going to be on my list. Besides being a chunk of late 80's punk rock history, it's also filled with unintentionally hilarious footage of early Social Distortion. Being several huge fans of Social Distortion myself, I have to include this on any list of films I make.
13. Grease. The ironic thing is that I wasn't allowed to see this in the theatre when I was little. My mom thought it was too risque, and so I was well into my 20's before I saw it. So of course I watched it, like 5 times in one sitting. My favourite character is Rizzo, because Sandy is an annoying twat until the very end.
14. Silence of the Lambs. My fascination with abnormal psychology aside, this movie is extremely well made, and the performances are perfect to a man. What other movie about serial murderers warranted an Oscar? None that I can think of. Maybe Zodiac, but not many others.
15. Crybaby. Yeah, it's not his best work, but Johnny Depp in a leather jacket and pompadour can make you forgive a lot of things. Plus, this list is what I like, and I admittedly like some corny things.
16. Pretty in Pink. Oh c'mon. I'm a girl who was a teenager in the 80's. It's practically stamped on my DNA to like this movie.
17. Usual Suspects. I've watched this movie 100+ times and the ending still gets me.
18. Kill Bill. I'm going to count both parts as one movie because I usually watch them back to back. You either love Tarantino or hate him. I love him, and I love this movie.
19. High Fidelity. The cast is excellent, the writing is top-notch, and Jack Black gets to be his Jack Blackiest. Every character in this film reminds me of everyone I've ever met.
20. Heathers. This is the last time Christian slater was cool. But boy, was he cool.
21. Spirited Away. Such a beautiful film! I love Miyazaki's style, but this film is his most accessible for me. I wish our kid hadn't gotten the DVD out of the case and broken it. :(
22. Wall-E. Speaking of our little one, he watches this movie 3 times a day, every day. And you know what? I still like it.
23. Tropic Thunder. This movie is just fucking funny, with an unbelievable performance by Robert Downey Jr. "I'm a lead farmer, mothafucker!" Priceless.
24. Breakfast at Tiffany's. Even with Mickey Rooney's undeniably racist performance and the movie's departure from Capote's original story, it's still one of my favourite movies. Audrey Hepburn is transcendent, as always.
25. Dazed & Confused. Richard Linklater is the master at capturing the feel of a moment. Every minute of this movie feels less like film and more like time-travelling voyeurism. We've all known these people, even if some of us were too young to have passed through the 70's firsthand. this movie gets promoted as a moronic pothead comedy, but it's much, much deeper than that.
There, I'm finished. I'm sure I've forgotten some of my very favourites, and I'll question my tastes in ten years, but it's done, and it's perfect in this instant so I'll leave it be.
1/12/09
10 Women I Really, Really Hate.
1. Jenny McCarthy. I guess somewhere in between being an unfunny standup comic and posing for Playboy she got a medical degree and did extensive research into the causes of Autism. Go fuck yourself, Jenny, because the measles outbreak on the coast has a body count. Your un-science is killing children. DO NOT LET A CELEBRITY TELL YOU TO NOT GET YOUR KIDS VACCINATED!!!!!!!!
2. Oprah Winfrey. Everything this woman says is lapped up like pablum by the masses of dissatisfied, directionless women across the country. She pacifies them with her neo-new age bullshit, and they eat it like starved pit bulls. Indigo children? Dr. Phil? Give me a fucking break.
3. Phyllis Schlafly. She thinks women's place is in the kitchen. So she should go there and stay.
4. Ann Coulter. Who doesn't really belong on this list, because she is, in fact, a man.
5. Julia Roberts. I hate her horse laugh, her receding face skin, and her horrible movies. My least favourite actress, hands down.
6. Condaleeza Rice. Aunt Thomasina, hang your head in shame.
7. Barbara Bush. For spreading her legs and spawning her piece of shit son.
8. Kate Hudson. No reason other than every single one of her movies is the kind of pure shite that makes me feel like my eyes are bleeding. Not that I've seen any of them, but the commercials are bad enough.
9. Rachel Zoe. Not only can she not dress (or apparentally feed) herself, she's farming out her bulimic bag-lady 'style' to others so they can assault my senses as well. Cocaine and bitterness are not a meal, lady.
10. Elizabeth Hasselbeck. I can deal with the fact that she's a conservative person, but does she have to be so mind-meltingly stupid? Surely there are more erudite speakers in the ranks of the Evil Empire. ;)
2. Oprah Winfrey. Everything this woman says is lapped up like pablum by the masses of dissatisfied, directionless women across the country. She pacifies them with her neo-new age bullshit, and they eat it like starved pit bulls. Indigo children? Dr. Phil? Give me a fucking break.
3. Phyllis Schlafly. She thinks women's place is in the kitchen. So she should go there and stay.
4. Ann Coulter. Who doesn't really belong on this list, because she is, in fact, a man.
5. Julia Roberts. I hate her horse laugh, her receding face skin, and her horrible movies. My least favourite actress, hands down.
6. Condaleeza Rice. Aunt Thomasina, hang your head in shame.
7. Barbara Bush. For spreading her legs and spawning her piece of shit son.
8. Kate Hudson. No reason other than every single one of her movies is the kind of pure shite that makes me feel like my eyes are bleeding. Not that I've seen any of them, but the commercials are bad enough.
9. Rachel Zoe. Not only can she not dress (or apparentally feed) herself, she's farming out her bulimic bag-lady 'style' to others so they can assault my senses as well. Cocaine and bitterness are not a meal, lady.
10. Elizabeth Hasselbeck. I can deal with the fact that she's a conservative person, but does she have to be so mind-meltingly stupid? Surely there are more erudite speakers in the ranks of the Evil Empire. ;)
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